As we prepare for our trip to Mexico, I continually find myself struggling with the idea that I am no longer in control for providing for my family. For years, as a sales rep, I have worked hard to earn and provide for my family. I have found that there is a large part of me that has taken great pride in my ability to do so. I have begun to now be exposed to the error in my thought process.
For years I have believed that I had been the one providing for my family. I have worked long hours to earn the sales bonuses, put groceries on the table, and pay for the house. I am now seeing that I have believed that the quality of my abilities had allowed me to be a superb provider. The thought that I no longer can take pride in this at times has produced sadness. I now understand that their is so much of my life that I have never really trusted to God. I have in many areas gloried in myself. I have failed to believe that he is the provider for me and my family. It is of course, an illusion to have first believed that it was I and not God who has been in control of my family protection and provision in the first place, but I see now that this is what I have done.
The exciting and scary part of this trip is that I know this is one of the many lies of which I must be broken. God, I hope to learn, is an incredible provider.
Brian, I believe this is a hard concept for many in USA today to accept, but so true and freeing when you get there. We have been on this journey for 3 years now and it has been hard at times, especially for Rod for this same reason. What a beautiful encouragement to see God at work in your life! I am sure the both of you could encourage each other in this area. May God richly bless you with His grace and abundance as you walk with Him!
ReplyDelete"the both of you" meaning you and my hubby..sorry that could be confusing. :)
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