Filling in a Few Much Needed Details.

                Although we are back in the United States I still feel like I’m “living in the land of odd”.  We are in that no fun transition stage where it’s really hard to form any since of routine.  We are “homeless” and so my parents took pity on us and we are staying with them.  That is unless they read that they have such an odd home.  But really that’s only a little bit about the oddness.  After living in another country when you move back you experience culture shock all over again.  In the last couple of weeks my husband and I have commented on things that we notice and it’s ironic how similar our observations are.  We might be shocked about one thing and excited about another.  And my taste buds have changed too!  Before we left for Mexico I thought I couldn't live without Bigalow Chai tea I drank every morning.  Didn't have it for a year and now not so sure why I liked it in the first place. 

                Along with this oddness thing, it’s hard to know how to respond when we run into people and questions are being asked or they didn’t realize we were coming back.  “Are you excited to be back?” we get quite often.  We are filled with such mixed emotions.  Coming back to the United States was bitter sweet and I kind of like milk chocolate better.  As the day approached Brian and I were excited to be moving back, but a funny thing happened as we landed/drove into the United States we were hit with this pit of pain of what we left behind.  Okay so I started crying at the airport! We have enjoyed seeing family and friends right now, but we didn’t have to come back to the United States because we couldn’t stand it in Mexico.  It wasn’t because it was “too hard”.  The kids had adjusted fine in Mexico. In fact Joelle cried a lot the last two weeks we were there because she did not want to leave. She still thinks of herself as Mexican.  We chose to come back because let’s just say we had a completely different philosophy of education as the school.  We really had no other job lined up in Mexico.  No feeling that there was something else for us to do there. 

                I (Joy) also had a secondary reason for coming home.  During this time in Mexico I realized how young my children still are and how much they still need me. (I would include my hubby in here as well.  He is my 4th child or maybe my first.)  Majority of my students I taught I would say had terrible relationships with their parents and it showed in their actions at school.  I got a chance to see how several of them interacted with their parents.  The biggest thing I learned was I did not want to lose my children.  I had more than one conference with a mom crying about how she didn’t know what to do.  She felt she had lost her son or daughter.

On the other hand, there were a couple of students that where brilliant radiant exceptions.  Two sisters were one of those.  I had one in 6^th grade and the other in 8^th grade.  These two young women were beautiful both on the inside and the outside and because of that also our babysitter the last month and a half.  One day I saw one of them with her arms around her mom waiting for her little brother.  I could tell that she and her sister where extremely close to their mom.  Later that day I asked her, “Why do you think you are so close to your mom?”  She said, “My mom has always been my best friend.  I tell her everything.  I always have.  Both me and my sister are close to my mom.”  I talked to their mom a few weeks later and you can tell she had been purposeful with her daughters from a young age.  She still stayed home and took her role as a mother seriously. 

One of those culture shock realization things that hit me as I came back to the United States was our priorities.  In Mexico it is expected if you have a job you should give a job.  You should have someone to come in and clean or cut your grass or something.  Granted it’s much easier than it is here because you don’t pay social security and people don’t expect as much money.  We had someone come in and clean for 150 pesos which is about the equivalent of $12. (Let me also say that people felt we were spoiling her and she was very happy to have the job and I think still made more than I did an hour).  All this to say is that made me think of how expensive it is to have someone come and clean your house here in the USA.  When it’s advertised $35 off your first cleaning you know it’s got to be pricy.  I remember when I was a  nanny in Chicago.  The person that came in and cleaned the house once a week made more than I did and worked several hours less.  We are in a culture today that doesn’t value their most important asset.   (Unless…you have the cleaning lady so you can spend more time with your kids.)

Realizing how much my family still needs me and how hard it is to be completely there with a "job" was one of many big lessons I learned down south.  Sure I knew it was “important” before, but now I have been given a new vision, refreshment and exuberance for it.  I'm ready to be a "stay at home" mom once again.

"I can't spare this man, he fights."

One thing I have been given an abundance of time for in Mexico is reading. I often spend hours a day reading if I can find a good book to read. That has often been the biggest challenge. Finding interesting books to read. We actually came down with quite a few, but those didn't last long. Luckily enough we were sent others and I was able to find some of interest at the school library. Recently, I have been engrossed in finishing the books Joy brought back from her spring break trip to the States.

I love history and had asked Joy to bring me back some interesting history books from the States. I think she bought anything that said bestseller on it. Anyway she did a good job, I have moved through several of them in the past week including "1776" and "The Americn Civil War". I often find good histories as encourging to my personal spiritual walk as books centered on religion. Watching and learning from the lives of great men, Lincoln and Washington among others.

 

 

One thing I really enjoy doing as I read is collecting quotes. I highlight them and try to memorize them, much like I would Scripture. Today as I was reading, one quote just about stopped me in my tracks. It was the title of this post, "I can't spare this man, he fights." This quote was uttered by President Lincoln in reference to U.S. Grant.

For those who might not know the history of the Civil War, my favorite, Grant was a man who often rubbed people the wrong way. He was accused at times of having a poor temperment, stubborn, somewhat abrasive, and at times suffering from a bit of fondness to drinking. Definitely weaknesses that don't always endear you to people. Anyway, some around Grant took their complaints about him directly to Lincoln, even calling for him to be removed from the field. After hearing their complaints, the quote above was Lincoln's response.

I thought for quite a while today about this quote on my daily walk. At this time in history, Lincoln was surrounded by generals who were in many ways proper, even Christian gentlemen, but they wouldn't fight. Grant on the other hand knew what his commander-in-chief wanted and he dove headlong, sometimes unadviseadly into the fight. He was a man always looking for the fight. It was for this reason, that despite personal flaws, Lincoln wouldn't dare part with this man. It was for this reason, that he became President just a few terms after Lincoln. He fought.

Then I thought how great would it be if this would be said of me. We all have our personal flaws and on close introspection, as history often gives us, all of us would have weaknesses exposed. The question is, "Would we have such a strenght exposed." History generally doesn't record the personal flaws of the other generals of Grant's day as they do his, but it generally does record one thing about them. They were all hesitant to fight when called on by their leader.

I hazard to say that I think I have met many with outwardly impeccable manners, but lacking a will to fight. I personally would love to achieve both, but first and foremost I hope I can be called a fighter. When I think about this quote, I hope dearly that my friends/family can say this about me. I hope my employers can say this about me. Most importantly, when I am looked down upon by God, I hope he can say this about me.

Waiting for the Rain

We are towards the end of the very long dry season in Mexico.  It has only rained a few drops since around October.  We are told any day it will start raining again.  The forcast often shows that it is going to rain, yet it doesn't.  Sometimes it even shows that it is raining and it's not.  It's been unbearably hot and extreemly difficult to sleep over the last couple weeks.  Today it started sprinkling for a few seconds and my children ran inside jumping up and down yelling, "It's raining! It's raining!"  I ran to the window to open it, hoping for the rain that would bring the nice cool breaze with it.  I notice the few,  I mean insignificantly few, drops coming down.  They yelled, "Can we play in the rain!"  I'm thinking, What rain? "Yeah sure!" I laughed.  How we are looking for the rain!  How we want and need the rain!

This year has had it's rainy seasons and dry seasons spiritually for me as well.  I have had moments that I've been poured on,  I've been stretched and have grown tremendously.  Then there have been months and months of extreemly dry weather waiting for God.  Going to "spanish lessons" on Sunday and not church, because of the lack of understanding.  I have been crying out for different students who are headed down the wrong path, fighting indifference, at times throwing my hands up in the air because I have no clue, facing many obstacles and frustrations, waiting and hoping to see the rain.  To see God at work.  Like a farmer there have been many seeds planted this year.   I have seen God work little by little, but I would love to see a down pour!

We have 5 weeks before the school years out and I'm waiting and hoping for the rain.  I trust it will come whether I get to see it or not.  It will come. 

By the way it just started pouring!  Hopefully it's a reflection of what's to come.

Good and Hard

Before you even ask me, my answer is good and hard.


I have thought a lot about the questions I will continually get asked by friends and family and coworkers when I return. I know what they are because friends and others email them to me regularly. First and foremost, "How was your experience" and "What was it like to live in Mexico". Before you even ask, I have put a lot of thought into this and my answer is good and hard.



I understand that when I return some people will ask me these quetions out of mere formality and some will ask me because they really care and have genuine interest. For the second group, I felt like I owed them a thought out answer. So I have been thinking quite a bit about it. Again, the answer good and hard.


Good in that this experience has changed me in ways for the better. Made me appreciate and at times reject foreign cultural practices and attitudes. Good in that it has made me reevaluate how I live my life. Good in that it has reminded me about what is truly important. Good in that it has forced me to look God in the face and say "What?". Good because He has answered that question many times and I am fundamentally broken, changed, and better for it. Good because I think I come back better then when I left with a lot more love in my heart.


Hard because everything that is good for you over the long term is hard (Think marriage, children, friends, family, church life). Hard because I couldn't count on anything I knew many times and found my self at the mercy and thoughtfulness of others. Hard because I hated it at times, like every school kid hates grammar, but ultimately learns its value. Hard enough to break rock like attitudes in my heart. Hard enough to make me refreshed and excited to come back to the States.


Good in that it changed me and Hard in that I am ready to begin a new in the States.

A Simple Satisfaction

As I was going for a walk today, I satisfyingly realized something. I "work" here. Not as in a job or profession, but I fit. As I walk down the street, nothing is any longer foreign to me. And maybe more importantly no one locally finds me too foreign either. As I head for my walk, the women who runs the little market booth outside the Catholic Church selling tomales, ice cream, snacks, and everything else Mexican nods and waves to me. I then exchange pleasantries with the waiters at the local taco joint (I have eaten a lot of tacos here!) and continue my walk. As I continue on down to my destination (Starbucks) I often receive a smattering of nods from shop owners who recognize me from regular visits. For the most part no one, with the possible exception of an occassional walker I don't know, looks at me with alien wonder any longer. The street workers and various garderners know me enough to offer a cordial "Buenas Tardes" as I walk by. As I walk back from Starbucks I stop at the market to pick up some avocados (new favorite food) and zuchini and several of the people selling their produce make friendly eye contact.

Today, this experience, created a very simple satisfaction. I "fit" here. While I don't call myself a Spanish speaker at this point, in this community I live my life in Spanish and am accepted as such. I order my vegetables, my iced green tea, and my paper towel in Spanish, respond to their questions and even know enough to tell them they gave me the wrong green tea (I always feel horrible when a mistake is made because I do assume it is my fault and I say so). None of the workers at these various places are scared to talk to me in Spanish because they know that I will pick up enough to get their meaning. If not, I will look confused, ask a question, and we will move on with our business transaction.

My walk full of bags and small conversations will end an hour or so later. I have just very much lived like a local.

Its not the satisfaction of transitioning from New York to Memphis or Indianapolis to LA. (No doubt very different in their own rights) but rather becoming part of a whole new world. Becoming just another peice that fits in a foreign culture. And while I will never be "Mexican" and at least while here my Spanish will never be strong enough to engage these people at great depths. To some extent, I know them and they know me. We are neighbors and I have a very normal place in their world. That is very satisfying.

Patience

I talked on my last blog post about lacking in patience and I got an interesting comment from one of my students today.  The class was a last period class.  (Never good, worse in the heat and terrible after a half day or any type of break)  The class was really, honestly... a disaster.  At least half the class was not listening.  Those kids of course were the ones failing my easy class and it was impertinent that they listened.  Anyways, we finally get to the end of the class and one of my students said to me, “How are you so patient?”  I’m laughing on the inside!  She quickly says, “Well I guess you’re a mom of three kids”.  I told her that I really struggle in this area.  I use to think of myself as a fairly patient person, until I came to Mexico.  Now it’s been something I really have to work on every day.   She said, “If I were you I would have run away!”  I chuckled and said, “Sometimes I think about it.”  I guess I should be encouraged that I am improving.  I don’t think she would have said that at the beginning of the year. 

Random Thoughts on Life in Mexico

You know it's been a while since I've blogged, when it took me some time thinking of the website my blog is on and my password! Seeing I haven't written for a good month or longer, this is a post of random thoughts. 

Today was Mother's day in Mexico. Mother's day is always on May 10th. SEP (the Mexican government in charge of the school) called the school yesterday around noon and told them that we will only have a half day today since it's mother's day and no school on Friday for the day of the teacher. I'm starting to slowly adjust to this type of thing occurring, the up in the air if you are going to have school or not when it's a holiday of ANY type. Adjusting, but still prefer to know things with a little more advanced notice.
Speaking of adjusting David and I both called something "ugly" today that a normal English speaker wouldn't use to describe, but is how you would describe something in Spanish.  Like when something tastes bad it could be called ugly.  Something's happening in our brain.  Unfortunately I wish it would be happening more.  My Spanish is definately better, but not even close to where I would hope to be after living in Mexico for almost 10 months. 

For El Dia de las Madres Brian and the kids took me to a restaurant that is usually a favorite of mine. Ended up being a comical dinner! Wrong drink, wrong order then the right drink with horchata that wasn't strained properly. It was very grainy.  On and on. What made it so funny is everyone’s order they managed to do right, but mine. An older lady was our waitress (we've never had her before). She just about freaked out at the sight of these Gringos. She panicked before we even began to order and quickly handed us off to someone who spoke English (even though we still spoke Spanish to him.) We have learned that being patient and having good listening skills go a long way in communicating with other people who might not share the same first language as us.  It kind of made me feel like, “is my accent really that bad!” Brian was concerned it was a flop, but it was ironically comical. It's amazing what a difference two people can make. (The missing waitress and one of their good chefs) You could really see that in the restaurant.

I've been thinking a lot of this experience of living in another country. At times I'm not sure if it has helped me become a better person or a worse one. I use to think of myself as a fairly laid back person...until I came to Mexico. I feel so intense. Maybe that's comparitive to all the people around me.  Now, I wonder what I will feel when I’m back in the USA.

Being out of my comfort zone has really enlightened me to things that I must have struggled with, but had no clue. The "normal" day in day out wasn’t enough to uncover some of the rough spots, which living in another country has. Sure I can be patient when things aren’t too bad, but when I’m tested to my limit. That’s when you realize maybe you weren’t as patient as you thought.

Cultural Toxins

I have been thinking quite a bit recently about cultural toxins. Until the last week or so this was an idea that I had never really thought about. As we are just 2 months from finishing our stint here in Mexico, you think about a lot of things. First, you try to remember the person you were when you first arrived. You think a lot about the changes that have taken place in you through the experience. You wonder how much you've changed and if that change is going to be drastically noticeable when this experience is over. You think about the things that have changed you. You think about how this is different then that and why simply a different set of circumstances can change a person.

This last statement is the one I have been mulling over the last day or two. Why should a different set of circumstances change a person. More specifically, why should another culture (country) change a person. I think their are several answers for that, but the idea that keeps popping into my head is cultural toxins. Every culture is full of them. Mexico has them, the US has them, and I dare venture to say that every country has their own toxins.

What I mean by cultural toxins as a Christian is external cultural norms, practices, pressures, expectations, and vodoo that pervade your life within a culture and come into conflict with Scripture. Now, I am not labeling everything in a culture a toxin, just the opposite some cultural practices can be elixirs for the soul (ex moving from a task oriented culture, US, to a people centered culture, Mexico,). These things actually help you recalculate proper perspectives. These things always come into alignment with the teaching of Christ to a believer. These things can drive out poison that has long built up in a life.

When I personally think of the changes I have undergone, I think of them as cultural toxins that have been driven out of my soul. Now as a believer the challenge to us always is to have the same mind and attitude as Christ, to reject the wickedness of the world, and to be a light of the truth. Regretfully, known to us or not, we often let cultural toxins invade our souls, dim our lights, and create their own set of standards on our life. Before we know it, we look like the culture around us and very little like Christ. This can and does happen in every culture. Remaining pure from the toxins can only be done through vigorous communion with God and fellowship with other beleivers. Some Christians do a better job cleansing the toxins and some give in to full on cultural poisoning. I don't know where I was when I left, but I realize now that I definitely had my share of toxic buildup!

Either way, for me, it has been nice to sweat out some of the toxins I acquired in the States (of course I often wonder what toxins I have acquired here, time will tell). Returning almost feels like a clean slate a new start. Of course with the excitement of the new start is the reminder that the old toxins will be there to greet me. That is the challenge of returning I look upon as a believer, knowing the challenges I face and trying to avoid "being corrupted by the world". The confidence that I carry (as does every believer), is that we have a willing advocate who dares travel with us.

A Shared Culture

While Mexico and the States often times seem miles apart, we do share a culture. Yesterday, my first day with the kids by myself for the week, I decided to take them to the Zoo. The Zoo is always a great dad thing to do. Anyway, we were walking through the aquarium, we got to the clown fish and Joelle yells, "There's Nemo". As we walk away from the tank, after searching high and low for Dorie (We found her later in another tank), a little Mexican girl walks up to the clown fish and yells "Que esta, Nemo." At that moment, the world seemed rather small. I sat there and I thought about what our cultures did share; Hollywood and Madison Avenue.

While Mexico is very Mexico (I can't really explain and you can't really understand), we see traces of the United States everywhere. Literally, in Guadalajara it is hard at times to find a blank surface not covered with grafitti, but in many ways I feel the influence of what comes here from the United States is its own grafitti on this country. Yes, Nemo is cute and I guess every culture should get the opportunity to love the clown fish, but most of what comes here from Hollywood and Madison Avenue isn't quite so cute. For every Nemo, there is 100 American songs spewing trash, and 50 movies that I wouldn't watch myself, little lone encourage anyone else to watch. They did send Dr Pepper south (thank you), but along with it came every fast food monstrosity and Abercrombie and Fitch add that breaks the peacefulness of an otherwise totally unique culture. At times I see these movies, adds, and especially songs and I fined myself ashamed of the States. I realize that it isn't just this country that they transport their trash to, but every country. This I guess is inevitable as the world's economy morphs together, but it is quite sad as well.

You look at these things and realize that this country is not really better for a single one of these "imports"(I can't imagine any country is). Older Mexicans will tell you this to your face, while poetically extolling the virtues of a "Pre-States" Mexico they remember just 20 years ago. I wish I could have seen this country 20 years ago. I assume my chance to see any other country "Pre-US" is gone as well. That makes me sad. Because here all of the things you would be happy to leave behind in America come with you. And all the things good about the States that you would have loved to bring with you, are unknown to most.

As I sit here the idea of first impressions popped into my head. Coming from sales I know the importance of them. I then don't find it so hard to understand why much of the world holds there noses up at us or the Muslim world finds us truly repugnant. What I see here, a man sitting in another country, is not anything beautiful about the US. But literally, its trash, spewed across every billboard, popping up in my local market, and blaring out of every 18 year old car I walk by. That is the culture we share with Mexico.

Living Our Lives with Junior Highers

The good news is that the girls purse was found with the other camera.  Everything was there, the blackberry, and two camera's.  A miracle really.  In fact, what we prayed for. Although the girl that lost it was quick to say in the moment, "It's Mexico, as soon as someone saw the camera and phone it will be gone."  God answers prayers.  A very good opportunity for them to see that!  It was so good as well because last week was prayer week!  They also were doing such a great job going up to people at the park and sharing Scripture verses.  They were supposed to pass out a verse to 3 different people (attached with suckers, another teachers great idea).  I had two girls in my group pass out 5, they then ran out and asked if they could just go up to people and talk to them about Jesus.  There are some really special sixth graders that I learn all the time from! I'm so glad that story, and week, can now have a great ending!

Brian and I have not had the same blessing with our camera.  We knew when coming to Mexico there was a huge likely hood that things might get stolen.  I guess that our pictures and camera is something we are going to have to let go.  Letting go is something God has been teaching us a lot this year!  Today Brian got some disposable cameras for our campout for the kids.

Yes, that's right we are throwing a campout for the 6th grade.  Preparing for this, I had to sit down and think of some crazy fun games and campfire songs we did at the camps where I worked. It was amazing after  10 years how much you forget!  I had such a hard time thinking of things.  After being given some great websites by others, http://www.thesource4ym.com/ and http://www.creativeyouthideas.com/blog/, some of the games on there jogged my memory a little bit.  They gave me some good ideas for my classes as well!

We have a wet and messy time planned for the kids.  We'll have around 22 out of the 38 students at our house tomorrow.  Thankfully, we will also have some other teachers!  I'm not sure how it going to go, but we are planning on having  a great time.  I'm glad I'm not doing it alone.  Sad thing though, one of the 6th graders that was really looking forward to coming broke his knee this morning playing basketball before school!  Concrete courts hurt when you fall on them and this time it did some damage too!  OUCH! 

I've often felt this year, "maybe these are just not the ages for me".  You have to be a really special person to work with Junior Highers."  While I do think that does help, (some people just have a natural talent and ability), if we left it to just these people there would be very few of involved.   Investing in the lives of young people is extremely important, yet there seems to be so few people actually doing it.  I haven't been involved with Junior highers except for a few babysitters and a couple nephews for 10 years!   I have to tell you I absolutely hate being who I have to be as a teacher to maintain a somewhat controlled classroom environment.  It's really not me.  But I don't mind a small group of 2 to 3, or when you get the chane to have fun and joke with them in situations outside of school.  Through this experience I can say I never want to teach in a school setting again, especially Junior High.  But there are things that I would be open to because of it that I might not have thought of before.  Although many of them act like they don't like you in the classroom, they seem to still desire adult relationships.  (Maybe not all with me, but with someone)  Sometimes I think they don't really want to have anything to do with their teacher, and then I'm surprised later. 

Junior Highers do get a super bad rap.  Yes, they are incredibly moody, manipulative, judgemental and talkative.  One day they hate you and the next day they blow your mind by actually saying something nice.  For instance, on Monday one of my 8th grade students was mad at me because I wrote his name on the board because he was asking for lead for his pencil.  My opinion was yes, I might get it wrong sometimes, but talk to me after about it.   Plus there are many times that they should have gotten written up when they weren't. So he was mad at me for this "injustice".  Then the next day I came to my class to find there were no tables or chairs.  I was told I needed to find another classroom, but there are no other classrooms.  So I quickly changed my plans and we sat in a circle on the floor.  One kid comments how "cheap" the school is.  Then someone said how there teacher (me) was mean or something like that.  I just agreed that I was mean and whatever they said about me.  Then the one student that was mad at me Monday was sitting next to me.  He said, "You don't REALLY think you are a bad teacher do you?  Because I don't think that.  I think you are a really good teacher."  One minute your bad and the next minute your good.  Despite how bipolar they can be and they can "make" me, I don't feel like many of them have to many good adults speaking into their lives.  For the same excuses that I give others give as well, "I don't do Junior Highers. I don't have the time. I don't like that age.  They make me uncomfortable.  They are crazy and you have to be crazy to work with them." etc. I think as with anything we really need to push through those excusses.  Good lesson for me when I think so often, I'm not meant to be with Junior Highers, they are not my "age group".

A Frustrating End to a Fun Day

Today was filled with the usual April Fool's day jokes.  Although in Mexico April Fool's day is not until December 29th (Obviously it's not called "April fools Day"), but their teachers are Americans.  We were terible today!  We got the dean of discipline to come in and tell the students the trip to the amusement park today was cancelled due to water issues.  We got a student to pretend to forget something and take another student off the bus to go back and get it and then the bus left.  I was the one that waited for the students and pretended to call the other teachers to tell them we were left.  The two I was with came out with perfect timing as the bus drove away.

There was one that I thought was a joke from my husband.  He told me he left both of our cameras at the boys basketball game.  I thought for sure he was joking because I didn't even see the camera at the game.  He never took it out to take pictures.  And I know he didn't have it when I took Joelle to the restroom.  He said that he asked someone to call.  I thought sure.  Good one.  Then after school when the school secretary told me that she hasn't heard yet anything about our camera, I finally realized it truely wasn't a joke.  I went home and searched for them, but never found them.  Hopefully it will show up at lost in found or something.  It had all our pictures from Mexico.  We have uploaded some of them, but I never uploaded many to snapfish or  the internet because it moves really slow here and it takes forever. 

Then at the amusement park the kids were told it would be a good idea only to take in money for food and drink, nothing else.  Their leaders would have bags if they needed to put their suckers in it.  (They were passing out verse cards with suckers.)  That did not happen.  Most of the girls chose to bring in a bag. Then the girls were all wanting to go on rides and didn't want to carry their purses or waters.  So I waited watching there stuff for several rides.  They decided to go on the log ride and all gave me their stuff.  I had 4 total bags and two jackets.  I was sitting outside the ride and one random stranger asked me to hang on to their IPOD touch.  (I must look trust worthy.)  After the log ride they ran to the next ride because we only had thrity minutes left.  I began to pass back their things as they were trying to run through the line.  I called for the girls to get their stuff, but one girl was already in the front of the line for her next ride.  Two different girls wanted me to go on a ride that was right next door to this ride.  So I clipped one of the girls camera to the other girls bag and gave it to her friend.  I told her to give this to her friend that ran to the front.   When the rides where done the bag was no where to be found.  Frustrating.  I think that the one girl that lost her bag kind of felt like it was my fault.   We searched.  It had only been maybe 5 minutes since we realized it was gone and I think someone already stole it.  So frustrating. 

This is so typical.  I had a busy, but good week.  It was prayer week and it went really well.  Yesterday was such an amazing day.  I had thought it was so great to go into my weekend like this.  We were only going on a field trip today so I figured it would be pretty easy, then the weekend!  Now it's hard to move past this feeling of frustration.  It's amazing how 5 minutes can make a huge negative impact on your day.

Prayer Guide for Parents

I made this guide with the help of many people, for the parents of my students.  I used my own parents as a huge source to make this. I thought I would post it if anyone would want a guide or ideas or something new as they pray for their children.

Parent’s Prayer Guide
Prayers for Our Children

1. For salvation. (Include possibility that a past profession was not sincere. Pray that if this is true, God will be merciful and convict child of sin and their need for the Savior.)

2. They would be able to know how much we love them and even more how much God loves them.

Ephesians 3:14-19 (NIV)
14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

3. Spiritual growth. (Kids need to believe things because God say it in His Word--not because parents or a church says it.)

Ephesians 1:17-20 (NIV)
17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit[f] of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. 18 I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, 19 and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength 20 he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms,

4. That their children would not be conformed to this world and its culture. They need courage to stand up and be different--even different from some who claim to be Christian. We pray that they would make a difference for Christ in this world.

5. That they may be transformed by having their minds renewed through the Word of God.

Romans 12:2 (New American Standard Bible)
2And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

6. That God would open their eyes to areas of their lives that do not please Him. Also that they will admit, confess, and forsake their sin by God's power. (Psalms 119:18)

Psalm 32:1-7(NIV)
1 Blessed is the one
whose transgressions are forgiven,
whose sins are covered.
2 Blessed is the one
whose sin the LORD does not count against them
and in whose spirit is no deceit.
3 When I kept silent,
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night
your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer.[b]
5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
my transgressions to the LORD.”
And you forgave
the guilt of my sin.
6 Therefore let all the faithful pray to you
while you may be found;
surely the rising of the mighty waters
will not reach them.
7 You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.

7. That they would surrender themselves as a living sacrifice to be used by God.

Romans 12:1 (New International Version, ©2011)

1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

8. Pray that they will understand that--if they are truly saved--Jesus has already won the victoy over Satan through His death, resurrection, and ascension. They need to claim that victory over Satan's temptations. (Romans 16:19-20)



1 Corinthians 15:56-58 (New International Version, ©2011)
56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
58 Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

9. Pray that if their child has been taken captive by believing the lies of the Devil, that God will give them repentance so that they can acknowledge the truth and escape Satan's snare. (Ephesians 4:27, Acts 5:3, Acts 26:17-19)

10. Give them respect for their parents, teachers, and authority -- and give their teachers a love for them.

11. Name specific areas that your child needs God's help in -- This may vary with each child -- such as common sense, laziness, irresponsibility, lying, being disrespectful, being fearful or extremely shy.

12. Pray for their physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual safety.

13. Pray that they will have only the truth in every area of their thinking.

14. That God will give them Christ's wisdom, courage, discernment of right and wrong, the love of Christ, the grace of God to handle false accusations and the injustices of the world.

Philipians 1:3-6; 9-11(NIV)
3 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

9 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

15. That God would give His direction and purpose for their lives.
Prayer for us as Parents
1. Change our hearts so we are closer to you. Help us be good examples to our children. Help us draw closer to you. Help us come to you and seek you daily in our own lives.

2. Help us not to discourage them to much, but still train them in what is right. (Proverbs 22:6) Help us know what to say to our children, when to say it, and when to not say anything and just pray.

Ephesians 6:4 4 Fathers,[b](Or parents) do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

3. Help us to be humble and ask forgiveness to our children when we do make mistakes.

4. Give us Guidance and Wisdom now in raising our children so we will be able to completely delight in our children. (Proverbs 23)

5. Help us take this role and responsibility you have given us seriously. Yet, help us still surrender our children to you for you are the potter you are forming and molding the. Lord, help us also to be moldable to your desires in our own life. (Isaiah 29:16, 41:25, 45:9, 64:8, Jeremiah 18:1-6, Romans 9:20-21)

6. Help us confess our sins before you. Help us be righteous before you so you will listen and answer our prayers for our children. (James 5:15-17)

7. We thank you Jesus, for paying the price for our sins so we can be seen righteous before you. We know that none of that would have been possible except through your gift. (Romans 5)

8. Help us teach them about you (Deuteronomy 6:6-9)

Series of First Steps

I have been thinking quite a bit about our time here and the feedback we get. I do often here things like "I don't know if I could do that!" or "You are one of the few families I know who could have done this" or even "How did you do this?" At this point in the process I don't know if I could give a complete answer, but recently I have been thinking about the start of this whole journey.

About a year and a half ago Joy and I, independently and then together, heard God say "Go". We didn't know where he was telling us to go, but we knew he was saying "Go". On this occassion, we felt we needed to listen. So what did we do, we took the first step and we said "We are going". This was months before a country or destintation had been chosen. God had said something and we decided to listen. We took the First Step. We decided in our hearts to take the first step of obedience and everything since really has been a roller coaster that I don't think any of us will understand for years to come if ever.

Now regretfully I can say on other occassions I have felt God leading me to do many things throughout my life and many times I have ignored that urging. I failed to take that first step. Maybe the step seemed to big, maybe too impractical, maybe it just wasn't convenient at that time or I was really too busy in life to give it a second thought. I hate now to think of all of the things I missed out on by not taking those first steps.

I really think life with God is just a series of first steps. We either take them or we don't. We here Him speak and we say "Yes" or we say "No". It really is all about the first step. Often when we take it, the rest of that journey is a roller coaster ride of seeing God work in our lives and the world around us. Taking one first step often leads to being presented with another and then another first step. As long as we continue to take that first step, the question of whether we will continue to take it in life becomes less and less in doubt. We begin to learn to wait on God for direction for every step. I dare say this leads to a beautiful dance. A practice in faith where we the bride are led around the dance floor quite gracefully by our incredible dance partner. Following God we are allowed to take part in something so exquisite that reflecting upon it simply blows our mind.

I want to be a man of first steps.

The Art of Clarification

I'm learning a lot through teaching, especially second language english learners, and through learning a second language, the importance of Clarifying yourself. 

When I was in my Bible classes in college I already knew that I did not want to be one of those people that used big long Christian words because they now knew what they meant and felt so good about themselves using them.  I figured I wouldn't do anyone any good and probably turn more people away than anything else.  I decided to study for the test, but after the test I would purposely forget them.  It's easy to forget something and even easier to forget something when it's purposely done.  That has worked out really well for the most part.  I'm so glad I did that. 

Now teaching junior highers, some with little Bible background, and in their second language, it is even more important to keep it simple.  I find myself having to say things a different way, not just once but many times.  Then add a picture to go along with it and use a lot of gestures.  What I think is common sense, isn't to other people.  Especially when you are from different cultural backgounds and especially if you are a 12-15 years old. 

I remember a time I hired a young teenager for some gardening.   He was raising money for a bicycle.  I took him out to one of our garden beds and told him that he could weed that bed and I would pay him.  A couple hours later I came out only to find that not only did he get rid of the weeds he cut down all of the bulbs that just came up.  They hadn't flowered yet and he thought they were weeds.  I could give other examples of those types of things with kids and teens.  On top of being young teens these kids are using their second language.  I've already had my share of blunders trying to get around in a "second language" and thinking I understood, but was really way off. 

I've had even more desire for people to spell it out for me.  Just let me know exactly what my expectations are or what I should expect.  Just today I had a new Yellow Pages brought to me.  (Which I only learned a few months ago they existed.)  He asked me for the old copy.  I repeated in my poor Spanish to clarify.  Then went and got it.  Next, he was as clear as he could be,  "One tip" (teep).  I knew what he wanted and assummed that I was suppose to tip him, seeing you are suppose to tip for everything.  Some people only make money off the tips.  But he told me exactly what was expected of me.  I like that.

I have done notebooks with my students.  While I thought I told them what I expected from them, I clearly have not.  I remember a teacher I had in junior high and then in high school.  When she had us in junior high she was ridiculously strict.  She was really anal retentive about how she wanted her notebooks done.  Mrs. Tidball if you ever read this blog I understand!  I get it!  I really do!  Your were just teaching junior highers!  Back to these notebooks.  I have gotten such crazy things turned in to me.  I kept saying, if I teach again I would change this or that, especially the notebooks.  I have decided that I shouldn't wait until "if I teach again", but try it now.  It's not too late to make it so I don't want to burn every single "notebook" that is turned into me.  To re-clarify to my students again and maybe again and again how they will do the notebooks.  To keep practicing "the art of clarification", because we all need it some time or another.

Bitter or Better

I know. I know.  I haven't written for quite a while.  Although I do believe I did write one of Brian's posts.  It's not like I haven't been writing.  I have filled up an entire journal since we have been in Mexico and I'm several pages into my second one.  We have always wanted to be honest with our posts on our blog, but there is a point to censoring some things.  Not that I'm hiding anything, but somethings are best left in a journal and not for all the public eyes to see.  At least not right now.  As I was reading and writing in my journal I thought I should write on my blog so here it goes. 

I've been reading this book by Donald Miller, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years".  It's not a "super spiritual book", but there are definately things that hit you.  It's a book all about writing a story with your life.  One that would be worthy of reading.  The book is about a lot of things that I have thought about to some extent before.  But so many things that we have thought about or learned, we constantly need to be retaught and relearn. 

I knew moving to another country would not be easy.  Especially with three young children.  There's a difference between "knowing" something and then actually living something.  I'll be quite honest, so many times I have wanted to get on a plane, fly back to the United States, and be done.  As I read this book a couple of things popped out at me.  At a writers conference Robert Mc Kee says this, "You didn't think joy could change a person, did you? Joy is what you feel when the conflict is over.  But it's the conflict that changes a person."  I absolutely hate conflict.  I would avoid it at all cost if I could, but it's the difficult things in life that change us and mold us, not what's easy.  I guess I should take "joy" in that!  (Yes, I have been constantly reminded that Joy cannot change a person, only God can.) 

A second thought is the idea that you can go through difficult times and they do not make you into a better person because you have the wrong attitude.  This was a good reminder.  Hard times can make a person bitter or better.  It's crucial to make sure that during those hard times I focus on the getting better part. 
You can't help, but change through a conflict.  So better make it for the best, not the worst. 

Our Own Little Prison!

We have now been living in our house here in Mexico for about 5 months. One little odd thing about the house is how some of the doors lock, especially upstairs. They tend to lock from the side that would make little sense. One such room is the upstairs balcony/sunroom (pictured below). This is a wonderful room, but the door locks from the inside, not the outside. No doubt this is due to Mexican security issues, but it can lead to some problems. With that being said, it has never been a problem until this week and until Joelle decided to make it a problem.

On Wednesday, I stayed home from school with a sprained ankle. At the end of the day, I was sitting in the sunroom when Joy and the kids came home. We sat up there for a while and talked. Joy, gave me the ankle brace the school was so nice to loan me. As we sat there talking, Joelle came running in and BAM, slammed the door behind her on the way. Somehow she had also turned the lock and there it was, we were locked in.

One really nice feature of the room is that all of the windows slide all the way open to really make it an open air room. After we realized we were locked in, we opened all the windows and tried to yell out to our next door neighbor. Regretfully for us, only one neighbor looked to be home and they weren't answering our calls for help. Luckily, I had my computer in the room recording some verses so we decided to log on to facebook and make a plea for help. Luckily, one of the other teachers was on, and came over. After about an hour of "good family time" we were rescued. We thought we learned our lesson!

We had not! Yesterday, I was home with the kids as it was an off day for students. The kids were playing up stairs and I was reading down stairs. I told the kids to get their shoes as we had to the grocery store. When I said this, David came down with a worried/guilty look on his face. Here is how the conversation went. "Joelle, locked herself upstairs". "What do you mean Joelle is locked upstairs?" "She ran into your room and locked the door". "Well tell her to unlock it." "She can't, she also locked herself on the balcony." "WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE LOCKED HERSELF ON THE BALCONY!".

I was hot. I went up stairs and sure enough, my room was locked and then looking out the small balcony I could see the top of Joelle's head through the glass and hear her crying. I convinced her to calm down and then tried to get her to unlatch the windows. She got the first 3, but the fourth latch was stuck and she couldn't get it. I tried to climb onto the small roof to help, but all I could do was encourage her. I climbed back onto the balcony and tried to think of other ideas.

I first thought, I could unscrew the door knob. Problem, my screwdrivers were all in the laundry room which can only be accessed through our bedroom. That idea was shot! I then thought, I will call Joy at school and ask her to come home with a screwdriver. Problem, my phone was in the pocket of my jeans on the floor of our bedroom. I sat there flustered. I got a little frustrated with David. (I didn't mention that the reason Joelle had locked herself in was because David had stolen the Mexican Flag she made at school and wouldn't give it back. She finally got it and ran into our room quickly to protect it from him.) I told David to go search all the drawers downstairs for a screwdriver while I tried to think of other ideas. David a little while later came to the rescue. He found a tiny toy screwdriver that came with a pack of batteries we bought. It took me a while to unscrew the door knob, but we got it and Joelle was rescued. If I didn't already say, the kids are now banned from the balcony!

Blog for Dogs AKA (Dog on a Hot Tin Roof and American Sissy)

This is my one and only blog for the dogs.   Dogs are a big part of life here.  It is hard to find a family that doesn't have a dog and a house that that doesn't have two in the front yard.   I personally do not care for it a bit.   While some of these dogs are family pets, many of these dogs also offer a bit of protection as they bark menacingly at everyone who passes the gate (namely me).  There are also quite a few strays, which are always harmless, but they still scare me to death.   There are two interesting things about dogs here that makes the experience even more unique. 

First, because of the lack of lawns many people put there dogs on their roofs (as most roofs are flat).   This is quite a site (like above) at first, but you get used to it.   I do always wonder though, when these roofs spring a leak don't you have to worry a little bit about what is dripping into your house? 

Secondly, I think most of the men in our colonia think me to be quite a sissy.  Mexican pay no heed to dogs.   They scare me to death.  Below you will see what a normal walk looks like.  You simply walk down sidewalks right next to every gate.  You never know when a dog is going to jump up (below) from any gate.  It never phases the Mexican men.   I wish I could say the same.  Every time they catch me off guard I jump like a scaredy cat.   On more then one occassion I have seen a group of workers giggling at the gringo scared of dogs.    I am sure they are used to the American Sissy!

Living a Life Lacking Real Relationship

I spend at least an hour a day if not more walking. During this time, in a bustling city like Guadalajara, I literally might encounter 100 people. I say Buenos Dias, or Tardes, or Noches dozens of times and I smile as big as I can hoping to convey the thought that I am a friendly, good natured person to all I meet. I dive in and out of markets and stores, exchanging brief pleasentries with shop owners, butchers, restaurant workers, and the like. Rarely do these conversations go beyond the general "How are you doing/Como Estas". Every once in a while they contain a couple of additional sentences of intrigue "Are you from the States", "Do you live here", "What do you do", etc, etc. I actually enjoy these little encounters. Not only do I get to practice my Spanish, but a little part of me thinks that all of the smiling I do must be paying off in that they think me worthy enough for additional questions. I give money to beggers on the street and can say little more then God Bless and I walk away.

The point I am making is that most of my encounters do not even involve the opportunity for real relationship (School Not Counting) because of language barriers. This got me honestly thinking "Even if I could speak fluently, would I really try to develop "real relationships"". Many have told me that Mexico is a superficially friendly culture. I then ask "What country isn't?". Then I think, am I a superficially friendly person? Did I go out of my way to create real relationship in the States when I had a shared language? The answer, sometimes, but not enough.

So often being here I wish I could have real relationship because I desire to share the gospel with those here. Luckily, Joy and I both get to do this regularly with our students, but rarely ever outside those walls.

I guess the personal challenge I felt issued to me as I walked today was to strive for real relationship when the opportunity at hand. Relationship that can allow for real honesty, compassion, and challenge. Relationship that can lead to change in both yourself and the person you have come to know.  A relationship where where we can impact others for Christ.   I think a lot of us fail to grasp this opportunity regularly outside our close circle, I know I do.

Our Vacation with The President

We had an amazing weekend whale watching. We had wanted to go to Puerto Vallarta to see the whales since we found out about them in September, but hadn't been able to until this weekend. We had planned it a few times and it fell through. We picked out a three day weekend and booked it!

The minute we were able to leave on Friday we were ready. Only problem the taxi wasn't. Luckly we made it to the bus station with 15- 20 minutes to spare. We accidently picked the wrong bus stop, extending our trip about an hour. Once we were on the bus and in our seats Brian and I both thought, "Wow, we really should do this more." That is until the first movie came on. Two "R" rated movies in a row and then a french concert. They were the type of movies that you couldn't let your child even see. It was a very difficult trip trying to keep them preoccupied so that they didn't even look up. Joelle fell asleep towards the end of the trip and woke up and had an accident in the bus bathroom. I kept thinking, "was this REALLY worth it! I better see whales!"

God was gracious to us and did allow us to see Whales the next morning. In fact, we were only in the boat 15 minutes by the time we saw the first ones! We saw more than one baby calf with it's parents. They like to teach the babies to eat and survive at Puerto Vallarta because it's the second largest bay in the world and it's the deepest one. We saw at a distance whales jumping out of the water, fully breached. As we raced to see them closer they continued to jump. Two whales leaped at the same time whole body out of the water. It was amazing. Edan said to me later, "It was like we were in a movie!" One came up out of the water right by our boat to check us out!

Joelle was cold and pouty at first. She leaned over to me and said, "I don't want to swim with the whales!" I laughed and said, "No one is swimming with them this time." She was remembering our trip out to see the turtles and how we had tried to get her to go in the water. Every time she agreed to get in she ended up screaming because it was so cold. At the end of the trip, we went to a reef and fed tropical fish. A couple of the teachers snorkled.

The whales weren't the only excitement on our trip. We stayed in the same hotel as the Mexico's President, Felipe Calderon. We had taken a walk on the beach and were going to wait to watch the sunset. We noticed that the hotel was putting up metal detectors at all the entrances. We also saw two fully armed soldiers at each end of the Marriott's beach property. We then looked out at the water and there was a big navy boat right off shore and then we looked up and saw a army helicopter circling. We found out by our friends that there were also tanks in the front of the hotel. I jokingly said to Brian, "It's the President. He's staying at our hotel." It was hillarious when we found out that the joke was actually true!

The rest of the time we spent lounging (watching) at the pool or the beach as the kids played. Our ride back was much better. We shortened it by an hour (even though our bus got a flat tire and had to fix it). We asked the bus driver if he could put movies on that children could watch and he put on two. Joelle still had another accident, but we were prepared with a change of clothes. I'm sure Brian will get on here and edit, add and change the post, but I was so excited about the video Brian got of the whales I decided to go ahead and hit "Publish Post".

The Power of Negative Thinking

You know the saying "The power of positive thinking" well, I think there is definately power in negative thinking as well.  It's very powerful and controlling!  The problem is it begins to build into bitterness, discontentment, and frustration.  There are definate times that you need to bring things up and challenge people when you see things that are in need of change.  You see this in Acts 6:1 when some believers went to the apostles because widows where being over looked.  That can be very benificial, the problem arises when you start only seeing the negative. 

The last few weeks have been difficult.  There were things that could not be avoided, but my very wise husband had to check me today, telling me that now I needed to start focusing on the positive.  If I didn't then the negative would eat me up and spit me out.  Okay those weren't exactly his words, but my paraphrase.  I knew he was right.  I now need to turn my attention back on being a joyful positive person. 

Here are some of my positive out looks for the day.

1.  I love my 6-2 class they are so great!  They are so much fun and have a great spirit about them!

2.  I had a really great time of prayer with one of the teachers today.

3.  Even on a overcast morning in Mexico it is STILL beautiful!

4.  Brian and I went out for Starbucks today.  We usually get to go out for a few minutes at Starbucks once a week during school.

5.  My husband brought me home a churro!  One of my favorite desserts in Mexico.  (A guy sells them on the street corner a few days a week.) 

6.  We have a three day weekend.

7.  Husband with wisdom in knowing what to say to me.