Bitter or Better

I know. I know.  I haven't written for quite a while.  Although I do believe I did write one of Brian's posts.  It's not like I haven't been writing.  I have filled up an entire journal since we have been in Mexico and I'm several pages into my second one.  We have always wanted to be honest with our posts on our blog, but there is a point to censoring some things.  Not that I'm hiding anything, but somethings are best left in a journal and not for all the public eyes to see.  At least not right now.  As I was reading and writing in my journal I thought I should write on my blog so here it goes. 

I've been reading this book by Donald Miller, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years".  It's not a "super spiritual book", but there are definately things that hit you.  It's a book all about writing a story with your life.  One that would be worthy of reading.  The book is about a lot of things that I have thought about to some extent before.  But so many things that we have thought about or learned, we constantly need to be retaught and relearn. 

I knew moving to another country would not be easy.  Especially with three young children.  There's a difference between "knowing" something and then actually living something.  I'll be quite honest, so many times I have wanted to get on a plane, fly back to the United States, and be done.  As I read this book a couple of things popped out at me.  At a writers conference Robert Mc Kee says this, "You didn't think joy could change a person, did you? Joy is what you feel when the conflict is over.  But it's the conflict that changes a person."  I absolutely hate conflict.  I would avoid it at all cost if I could, but it's the difficult things in life that change us and mold us, not what's easy.  I guess I should take "joy" in that!  (Yes, I have been constantly reminded that Joy cannot change a person, only God can.) 

A second thought is the idea that you can go through difficult times and they do not make you into a better person because you have the wrong attitude.  This was a good reminder.  Hard times can make a person bitter or better.  It's crucial to make sure that during those hard times I focus on the getting better part. 
You can't help, but change through a conflict.  So better make it for the best, not the worst.