Few Days Off and Time to Post!

Because of Mexico's independence day we have a few days off to regroup. Unfortunately our kids are passing along their sickness and now Edan is sick. The good thing about having a small house is it gets us out a lot! We are forced to get out there and be bombarded with Spanish. The bad thing about having a small house, especially one that echos is when a child is sick or you have to be in the house the kids can get at your last nerve. It can be difficult to be confined to small quarters.

I haven't had a lot of time to blog and think because of being thrown into school and trying to figure out how to be a teacher. Especially being a teacher to Junior Highers. But I thought I would share some of my thoughts now that I have some time confined to the house with a sick child.

Before I came to Mexico I had previously lived in another country for one month. I learned a lot in that month. It open my eyes to so many new things. Now I am coming to realize that there is a huge difference in going on a short term missions trip and longer commitment. The biggest difference is mentality. When you are on a short term trip you learn a lot don't get me wrong, but you always have the mind set that you are going home in a little while. It's temporary. Whatever the conditions are like when you go you know it's temporary. If you can go I think you should, you will still learn a ton it's just different.

When I got to around the month mark of staying here in Mexico the reality hit that I'm still here. I'm not going home, at least not for a long time. I began to get major cravings of things that I had before that I could no longer get or have. The excitement of the newness of being in a new country starts to fade. On top of it all I still don't know the language! Sure I am beter than I was a month ago, but it can be frustrating trying to communicate. I understand a lot, but I have a hard time formulating my words in Spanish. I start getting panicky when I try to speak in Spanish and it's even harder to think. Instead of thinking clearly I start thinking, "What am I suppose to say? I can't think!" The newness is gone, you still can't communicate effectively, and you miss things you use to have. It's hard to keep your mind from wandering and thinking about the future or home. I'm constantly reminding myself I need to live in the present and make the most of this opportunity.

Not only has the cultural adjustment been difficult, but the adjustment to working mom. I've never worked full time since I've been married. It's hard to balance being a wife, mom, and teacher. When I stayed home it was hard to always feel that what I did was valuable. I'm realizing now how valuable it was for me to stay home with my children. I do think it has been good for them to all be in school this year. They have been learning Spanish and amaze me everyday with what they pick up, but I'm understanding that there is no shame in staying home. Housewives in America shouldn't feel any shame if they want to and get to stay home with their children, even if all their kids are in school. Maybe shame isn't the right word, but they shouldn't feel like second class citizens or that they need to explain their choice.

On the other hand I don't think my kids are hurting because I'm working. The boys especially are blossoming and learning so much through this experience. It's been the hardest on Joelle, but now she has a bestfriend at school and the other day they all decided to paint their nails for school! It's already starting at four! The greatest thing of all in this experience as a working mom is it has actually enabled us all to spend more time as a family! I think Joelle, especially, is closer to her daddy then she might have been if I always stayed home. It probably has been the hardest on me than them.

Well there is a random post of thoughts of what I have been personally going through. I'm sure many can relate in one way or another. I've been trying hard to think on the bright side of things. It has definately been a battle of the mind.